


Siren's Song

by godandanime1104



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:00:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godandanime1104/pseuds/godandanime1104
Summary: Tommy just wants to feel loved again, and be at peace.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 125





	Siren's Song

Tommy looked over the edge of the netherrack under him, a queasy feeling stirring in his stomach. The lava popped and glowed at him, as if calling his name in a heated voice. The nights had been cold in the overworld, more so every time he accidentally ripped his clothes again and again. The heat in this world was suffocating like always, crawling between his hair and clothes, burrowing into his skin. It was burning, but it felt like the affection he’d been longing for since leaving L’Manburg.

A pigman walked by, brushing his arm. The pressure wasn’t much, almost like a breath against his skin, but Tommy almost wanted to pretend it was. Wanted to let himself be pushed forward, to pretend that he hadn’t made the choice himself, that it was an accident. But, he knew it wouldn’t be enough.

Tommy looked towards his chest, eyeing the compass around his neck. It spun erratically, unable to determine where its mark was in this world, but Tommy knew. Even without the compass, he knew where Tubbo would be around now.

He missed Tubbo beyond words, it was an ache that would never go away. Tommy knew Tubbo meant well, that he’d not wanted to exile him, but their separation hurt all the same, like half his soul was on the other side of the world. The worst part was the lingering feeling that it would always be that way, that he’d never feel the warmth of Tubbo’s arms wrapped around him again.

Dream could pretend to be Tommy’s friend all he liked, he would never be Tubbo.

The lava hissed below him, as if irritated by the train of thought. Tommy huffed, reflecting the emotion right back. He wasn’t exactly having a great day either, you steaming lake of fire.

It didn’t matter in the end, he supposed, what the lava might’ve felt. It never seemed to matter what Tommy felt, it was almost natural at this point. And yet, the temptation to lean that slightest bit more foreword, to slip so easily into his death? Well, it was the most natural feeling in the world. And Tommy craved it.

He craved the warm embrace, the burning across his skin, the way his mind would finally be quiet. He craved the absence of the ache in his heart. More than anything, he craved Tubbo.

Tommy’s fingers danced lightly across the metal, tracing the edges with a single digit. He’d never let go of his compass, a connection he’d never expected to keep. He’d lost everything else to save his disks, surely this would be the next thing Dream would force him to burn. Tommy wondered how long he’d get to keep it, when his half friend half enemy would decide to take it.

Tubbo had already destroyed it, whether it was accidental or not, Tommy couldn’t be sure. If he dropped it now, burnt the last piece of their friendship, would it give him the courage to take the final step into his fate? He wasn’t sure, but the question swirled in the back of his mind.

Was this similar to what Techno heard every day? The whispers just behind his ears, asking the questions Tommy didn’t want to answer. Would he hear these voices too?

Tommy closed his eyes, breathing deeply and clutching the compass in his dirty fingers. He needed to decide now, whatever choice he was going to make, because Dream would come for him soon. He wasn’t allowed in the nether like this, he needed to choose before the choice was made for him.

Down below, the lava’s pops called to him yet again, a sweet song of promise. Tommy opened his eyes, staring into the deep reds and oranges, and felt himself sway. Was this it?

A hand twisted itself in his shirt, tight and unwavering as it pulled him away from the edge. Tommy let himself be moved, back resting against their chest.

He looked up at the mask and felt his stomach drop in disappointment. _Not today, it would seem._


End file.
